


Wrong Universe

by minolyn



Series: Ask and Ye Shall Recieve [1]
Category: Ylvis
Genre: Angst, Criminal AU, Drug Addiction, Gen, brofeels, but no actual depiction of usage
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-16
Updated: 2015-03-16
Packaged: 2018-03-18 04:22:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,070
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3555851
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/minolyn/pseuds/minolyn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The prompt: What about something different like "are we both robbing the same house oh fuck" AU</p>
<p>I think this came out a lot less casual than the prompter implied, but I felt like taking this particular one more seriously for a change.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Wrong Universe

Even the curtains were motionless for the lack of air current in the darkened household. The only sound seemed to be that of the quietly ticking clock on the wall, telling time for no one. It was suddenly interrupted by the refrigerator, humming loudly its resumed efforts to keep what little food was left in it cold. Other than those two appliances, the house was at a complete stand still, and had been so for two days.

A shadow fell over the pale yellow square of light that shone in through the unused cat-flap in the door to the garden. Quiet and delicate clicks and scrapes of small metal sounded inside the seemingly secure lock. Within a minute it yielded and allowed entrance into the house. The black shadow crawled into the house, taking care to move in a well studied pattern on the floor that would not set off the alarm before he could get to it. When he reached the front door he got to his feet, taking just a moment to examine the alarm’s control panel before dialing in the code to disable it. A series of beeps sounded to affirm his success and he turned to face the rest of the house. Now he could move around freely, it was time to get down to business. He made straight for the master bedroom, knowing exactly where the jewelry case was in the top drawer of the dresser. He knew this house well. He knew every nook and cranny and made it his business to know the residents’ business. He knew they were on a long weekend vacation and wouldn’t be back for two more days, and he knew their neighbors were sound asleep at this hour, leaving no chance that someone would see him entering or leaving, and he intended to leave so it might even be several more days after they come back until they notice anything missing. They will never be sure when exactly the wife’s three most precious pieces of jewelry disappeared, and there will be no evidence of their house being broken into.   
Just as he stuffed the final diamond studded necklace into his pocket, he heard odd shuffling noises coming from the living room. His brow furrowed under the black cotton mask covering his entire head, and he reached for the gun strapped to his thigh. This family had no pets, they hadn’t asked anyone to house-sit for them, there was no reason for any sounds other than the clock and refrigerator. Silently he crept down the hall, gun cocked and ready for use if necessary. When he rounded the corner he saw a skinny, disheveled figure, fumbling around with disconnecting the giant flat screen TV from its various plugs. 

“I should shoot you right now and leave you here to be found.”

The figure spun around in surprise, enormous, glassy blue eyes shining at him, still managing to pull from him a twinge of affection after all this time. He looked as bad as ever. His short brown hair tossing in all directions, black bags under his eyes indicating sleep deprivation, tattered and soiled clothes hanging loosely from his malnourished body. Vegard clenched his jaw and kept the gun pointing at his younger brother. He couldn’t give in to it anymore. 

“Is there a special reason why you’re sabotaging my work?”

“I thought this is what you wanted. I’m working for my money.”

“No, you’re stealing mine.”

“You weren’t going to take the TV.”

“No, I wouldn’t take something as obvious as the TV, Bård. By taking the TV you’re making it clear to them that their house has been broken into and that they’ve been robbed.”

“I waited for you to disable to alarm before coming in..”

“They’ll upgrade their security system and I probably won’t be able to visit this house again.”

“ ‘visit’, you mean _steal_.” Bård rolled his eyes.

“Yes, months of work, an investment that could have lasted _years_ , put to an end because you have to be careless and feed your addiction!”  
Vegard started raising his voice but soon checked himself. If only the same could be said for his brother.

“Because you won’t help me!” He screamed, soon regretting it at the sight of Vegard ripping off his mask and hissing at him angrily.

“Not the way you want me to, no! You know I’ll help you, the instant you’re ready, but I will not help you destroy yourself! Put that fucking TV back the way it was!”

Bård’s face scrunched up with disgust, “What the hell do you know. You don’t know anything about me.”

“I know more than you think.”

“..And who are you to be so high and mighty. You’re a fucking burglar, Vegard, don’t act like you’re better than me, like you’re living right.”

“At least I run my life, instead of letting it be run for me.” It was Vegard’s turn to look disgusted. Bård was hunched over, so stunted that even though Vegard was shorter than, he still could look down on him. The blue eyes found a spot on the floor, refusing contact. “No one runs me…”

“Heroin runs you. Heroin makes you forget to eat, to change your clothes, makes you run away from yourself and keeps you from the life you could have had.”

“Fuck you, Vegard.” the cold words were like a slap to the face, cutting his cheek as Bård stumbled past him and out the back door from whence they came. The echos of their conversation lingered on the walls, Vegard almost feared they themselves would tell on him to the family when they got back. He allowed himself one more moment to wallow before sheathing his gun, putting his mask back on and setting to work on replugging the TV to the wall and appliances. 

Later that night he walked into his own apartment, shedding his equipment into an inconspicuous box by the doorway. He tossed his black clothes into the washing machine to await the rest of the load and took a long hot shower. Emerging from it 45 minutes later in nothing but a towel he passed by a locked door in front of his own bedroom. Behind that door, he knew, was a bed, a toilet and a water cooler, all lying in wait.

One day, Bård would come. And when that day comes, Vegard will be ready.


End file.
